Cat Burglar - January 20, 2015


A cat burglar snuck around a yard at night.
"Not a witness in sight!", he thought to himself.
"Such a waste of stealth for it never to be seen.
Such finesse can't be found on any television screen."

Confidence awoken, he scaled the side of the wall.
"I feel six stories tall!", but little does he know,
The bigger you are, the harder you fall,
And he still has quite a lot of room to grow.

For as he snuck in through the bedroom window,
To the capable and confident thief's chagrin,
A figure watched him from the shadows within,
Waiting his turn for the thief to begin.

Quickly the thief scurried to take what's not his.
"Whoever's house this is, they have quite the stash!"
But this loot might be his last, for on his way out,
The figure ten times his height would then shout:

"Ha!", with his arms raised to embellish his size.
To escape his demise, the thief fled the scene.

"My owner is so mean! There was no need to yell.
Plus, he cheated." So the cat gave his farewell.

Frustrated with how serious his owner took the game,
Strolled over to the neighbor's to do the exact same.

Laser of Doom - August 20, 2014

The kitten skedaddles across the room
To catch any object that dares to move.
And there it looms with bright red fumes.
– He’s yet to capture the laser of doom!

Playful pouncing with prancing precision,
Never suspecting the giver of provision.
“Halt bright light, ye defier of Physics!
Explain your ways (though spare the specifics).

How might I gain your unkempt power?
Imagine the amount of birds I’d devour
If I could scale walls and trees
At breakneck speeds with relative ease!”

The light vanished.
“I suppose a cat can dream.”

Scaredy Cat - May 22, 2014

The gentle hand of my owner
Is the definition of temptation.
His presence alleviates my fears
Of loneliness and starvation.

Yet still I understand
My distance I must keep.
I’ve learned from experience
Human hands have quite the reach.

As they grasp for straws
And put on air.

As they clip my claws
And wet my hair.

Thus I must assert
My freedom from his rule.
To the wilderness I go,
For Man can be cruel.

Haiku #2 - February 22, 2012

A cat shrinks away
As glass shatters on the floor.
“Will I be punished?”